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I need them. [26 Jun 2006|10:31am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I need family. I need friends. I need adventurous nights. I need silly laughing. I need joy. I need faith. I need hope. I need realization. I need parties. I need picnics. I need jumprope. I need oceans. I need sky.

Just swallow me up, big old blueness.

5 comments|post comment

[25 Jun 2006|05:57pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

Sometimes there's nothing else but those things you've always had. Sometimes the things you find important really aren't important all along. Sometimes you realize it.

Sometimes you realize it.

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ACT [22 Jun 2006|07:15am]
[ mood | amused ]

Ok, I checked my early scores for the new June ACT I took.

33 in English

27 in Math

32 in Reading

25 in Science

With a Composite Score of 29! (urg!)

You know what, too? My Composite Score was actually a 29.25, meaning that if I had gotten one more point on any of the tests, I would have gotten a 30. It's so weird how I first got a 28.25, then I get a 29.25. Maybe I'm just not destined for a 30.

But, then again, if I use my 28 in Math that I got last time with these new scores, I would have a 30, so I guess that's all right.

I'm actually really happy how I did in English. I didn't think I could get a 33, and I'm really happy with a 32 in Reading.

So, a 29.25 is not a 30, but at it's better than a 28.25, so I am happy about it. I don't think a college will reject me if I had gotten a 30 instead of a 29.

I really, really wanted that 30, though.

Pero la vida es así.

( : hase

10 comments|post comment

[21 Jun 2006|10:25pm]
Change is in the air. I feel it.
5 comments|post comment

[20 Jun 2006|09:03pm]
Don't you love that feeling of being worn out from a long day's swimming. It takes me back to North Carolina.

( : hase
3 comments|post comment

Pensamientos de Ninguna Importancia [19 Jun 2006|12:31pm]
[ mood | bastante bien ]

Quiero escribir en español otra vez. No quiero hablar de cosas increíbles, ni de cosas muy interesantes, sino cosas que están en mi mente. ¿De qué pienso yo ahora? Pienso de mi futuro, supongo. Estoy listo para mis tiempos en Ecuador, y estoy un poco ansioso de tratar de asistir a Harvard. Espero que lo asistiré, pero ¿quién sabe? Yo veré, yo sé.

Me pregunto si las personas que hablan español se hacen molestadas cuando una persona trate de hablar con ellas en español, aunque su primer idioma sea inglés. Me hago nervioso porque no quiero hablar con una persona si él o ella no quiere hablar conmigo.

Cada día pienso en Christopher. Me pregunto si nuestro amor seguirá, o si apagará. Espero que seguirá, pero a muchas veces no estoy seguro. Él puede estar antipático a mí, y él puede darme mucho dolor por la manera que me habla. Lo amo con todo mi corazón, pero me siento que a él no le importa de mis emociones. Yo pienso que él tiene que ser más feliz, y él tiene que sonreír más. Es mi opinión, pero pienso que tengo razón.

A veces no me gusta el verano. Tengo demasiado tiempo, y me siento como si yo echo mi tiempo en la basura.

Ayer fue muy interesante. La electricad murió en mi casa de el tiempo.

Me ducharé. Me vestiré. Estudiaré chino. Me sentiré mejor.

9 comments|post comment

Jewel/Rob Thomas Concert [16 Jun 2006|01:32pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

So yesterday was the Jewel and Rob Thomas concert. It was amazing! I went with Katie and Chris, and I had the most wonderful time ever. Jewel was absolutely beautiful, and her voice was majestic. She yodeled hardcore, and I think that might have been the highlight of the night. Rob Thomas was pretty rocking, too.

And, I think I fell in love with a waitress at Arthur's Family Diner near 1:00 in the morning. Oh, sweet lady...

( : hase

7 comments|post comment

[14 Jun 2006|05:21pm]
A veces me siento usado.
4 comments|post comment

[11 Jun 2006|03:46pm]
I hate how I can be ontop of the world, and when I get home, my family makes me feel so depressed. I hate my evil aunt.

I cannot wait to leave to Ecuador. I will not miss my house one bit, and I shall be glad to get away from the ignorance of Christine Esther Russell. It sickens me that we share the same last name. At least we are only related because she married my uncle.

Ayúdame, por favor. Auxilio, y rápido.

Antes de morir.
4 comments|post comment

How I feel about Christopher at this instant; Como me siento porque de Christopher a este momento [07 Jun 2006|11:16pm]
[ mood | worth translating ]

"Me Voy" por Julieta Venegas

Porque no, supiste entender a mi Corazón
Lo que había en el
Porque no, tuviste el valor de ver quien soy
Porque no, escuchas lo que esta tan cerca de ti
Solo el ruido de afuera y yo
Que estoy a un lado desaparezco para ti
No voy a llorar y decir que no merezco esto
Porque es probable que lo merezco pero no lo quiero
Por eso me voy
Que lástima pero adiós
Me despido de ti
Me voy
Que lástima pero adiós
Me despido de ti
Porque se que me espera algo mejor
Alguien que sepa darme amor
Ese que endulza la sal
Y hace que salga el sol
Yo que pensé que nunca me
Iría de ti que es amor del bueno
De toda la vida pero
Hoy entendí que no hay suficiente para los dos
No voy a llorar y decir que no merezco esto
Porque es probable que lo merezco pero no lo quiero
Por eso me voy
Que lástima pero adiós
Me despido de ti
Me voy.

2 comments|post comment

[03 Jun 2006|02:55pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Wow, I took the three SAT subject tests, Mathematics 1, Literature, and Spanish. It was in Detroit, and the room was very nice. The Spanish was so easy for me (compared to the AP test), and the Literature was decent, and the Math was ok. I'm not so concerned about how I do, but I hope I just do really well in one of them. I have the ACT next Saturday, too.

I had the biggest headache every after taking that test.

8 more days 'til he returns.

5 comments|post comment

[01 Jun 2006|07:54pm]
Against that time (if ever that time come)
When I shall see thee frown on my defects,
When as thy love hath cast his utmost sum,
Called to that audit by advised respects—
Against that time when thou shalt strangely pass,
And scarcely greet me with that sun, thine eye,
When love, converted from the thing it was,
Shall reasons find of settled gravity—
Against that time do I ensconce me here
Within the knowledge of mine own desert,
And this my hand against myself uprear,
To guard the lawful reasons on thy part.
To leave poor me thou has the strength of laws,
Since why to love I can allege no cause.
2 comments|post comment

[31 May 2006|10:22pm]
"hey chase, i just wanted to say that your speech today was very deep and touching. i seriously understood everything that you are going through and i felt real bad about it, because i never knew that about you. but hey, good luck in ecuador, i know you will do well in life and be successful. don't let anyone tell you that you can't do it, because i'm sure everyone you know, including me believes in you and that you can do anything you want, and if people don't like it..fuck 'em. lol. you are who you are, and don't change that. it's been a real honor getting to know you.

steve cripps"

Seriously, Steve, the world needs more of yous.
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[30 May 2006|10:41pm]
I want to read I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings and feel it.


Save ME!
2 comments|post comment

Luggage, Money, and School [24 May 2006|03:07pm]
[ mood | hopeful ]

I'm just thinking about my future departure to Ecuador near the end of August, and I was thinking about the 44 lb. limit for luggage. Did any of you find that difficult? Did any of you go over? I'm thinking that 44 lbs. is going to be hard to do.

And, I've been saving my money for personal spending money. How much do you guys really recommend having for a year program (keep in mind I'm going to Ecuador)?

And, what school subjects did any of you who went to South America have?

Thank you!

( : hase

6 comments|post comment

Happy Birthday to Chase [15 May 2006|08:32pm]
[ mood | feliz ]

Dear Diary,

Today I saw a boy, and I wondered if he looked at me; he took my breath away. And, dear diary...


Just felt like writing some Britney lyrics hidden in the archives of my mind. So, today is my birthday, May 15th, the Ides of May. And you know what? I actually feel differently. I do feel seventeen. And, I've had a very enjoyable birthday. Although a lot of my friends didn't really care it was my birthday, some did; and that meant a lot. Thanks Katie for the birthday card! It meant so much!

My dad showed up for my family birthday party on Sunday; he got me a digital camera and it's beautiful.

Today, my aunt took me to see Akeelah and the Bee. It was one of the best movies I have ever seen in my entire life. I cried more than 5 times, honest.

I got a bunch of luggage for Ecuador, and it makes me really happy because they're so pretty and cool.

Chris sent me something for my birthday. He is beautiful and I love him. He also bought the Jewel tickets for my birthday.

26 days 'til he returns. The 10th of June is going to be so busy: Chris's return, Candy's/Karen's grad. party, and the ACT!!!

Wish me luck. I'm just thinking about how I will spend my next birthday in a foreign country. Less than 3 and a half months before I leave!!!

( : hase

6 comments|post comment

I have been here before [11 May 2006|07:23pm]
[ mood | poetic ]

I have been here before
In this falsely sweet house
And I feel like a bowl of pretense was just
Dumped on my head
Uncomfortably, I sit
What’s she looking at me like that for?
Dad tells me about Guatemala
And his new adopted girl, Guatemalan
Who am I, Daddy?
Who am I? Didn’t you forget that you had a son and daughter already?
How could you, Daddy, how could you?
The pen glides across the dotted line. Yes.
Foreign exchange here I come.
Thank you, Dad.
“Good luck, Son.”
(Maybe he’ll love me in Ecuador).

4 comments|post comment

A Little Piece of Jewel [10 May 2006|03:14pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I'm trying to figure out who I am
But there's no hand to hold, no Doctor Martin Luther King
There's just sycophants
And the mindlessness on TV or in the magazines
On the latest ways to behave

So why not follow me, the blond bombshell deity?
I'll sell you neat ideas without big words
And a little bit of cleavage to help wash it all down

4 comments|post comment

Las Nuevas Verdaderas [09 May 2006|05:08pm]
[ mood | pensando, como siempre ]

No estoy seguro de lo que me siento. No pienso que estoy sintiéndome una emoción, sino un sentimiento. He terminado de escuchar la album nueva de Jewel, que se llama Goodbye Alice in Wonderland. Estoy lleno de sorpresa porque oí que no era muy bien, pero no estoy de acuerdo. Pienso que es maravillosa. Me gustan las canciones y las palabras. Es muy inteligente. Jewel me hace pensar.

Tomé el examen de AP Gobierno de los EEUU. Puse mi alma dentro, y espero que tenga éxito. Descubriré en algunos meses.

Quiero escribir. Quiero ser escritor.

Vine al internet para escribir sobre algo más importante que los acontecimientos, pero aquí estoy, escribiendo así. ¿Por qué debo preocuparme? No debo. La vida es vida. Pase lo que pase.

Estoy OK conmigo.

10 comments|post comment

Nihilism [08 May 2006|10:53am]
[ mood | creative ]


1 a : a viewpoint that traditional values and beliefs are unfounded and that existence is senseless and useless b : a doctrine that denies any objective ground of truth and especially of moral truths

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